Family Vacations: An Oxymoron

Family vacation. The very mention sends me into a funk. Not that I don't look forward to vacations. I love to travel, to stay in new places, to eat in different restaurants and cafes, to prowl unfamiliar streets, to poke around in shops. But somehow, maybe because the stakes are too high, because all of us have different expectations, and because my two children seem to revel in the familiar comforts of home and their own beds, every time the four of us go on a vacation it's a semi-disaster!

My husband, Ted, would choose backpacking and hiking in the mountains every time if he could. Nothing better to him than getting dirty out in nature, pushing himself harder each day, sleeping in a tent, and washing his face with cold stream water. But after enough family hikes where the rest of us began whining after the first big hill and threatened never to accompany him again, he's learned that a simple day hike broken up with a gourmet picnic is our idea of a good time.

My daughter, Annie, 13, hates to fly, so she'd opt for something close to home. With a friend along. Actually she might go anywhere with a friend, but preferably someplace with a pool and henna tattoos and pizza. No fancy restaurants, no swimming in the scary ocean, no oh-so-boring museums. Fifteen-year-old Matt would also like to be with a buddy, but he would like to be on his own with his friend, checking out the girls and drinking lots of soda and eating his fill of burgers, burritos, and submarine sandwiches with a chaser of Skittles, unlimited email access and video games. Sure, he'd fit in a little boogie boarding and body surfing but lounging in front of a TV in a luxury hotel room suits him just fine.

And me? I like an urban setting, the same luxury hotel with a gym and a spa, fabulous shopping, great dining options and my husband all to myself. And on our family vacations none of us really get what we want. Someone is always complaining about the food or the long drive or the tiring terrain or the crummy food or the crappy room or the heat or the rain or their mere existence on earth. Yet, we keep forging ahead, planning to meet Ted in New York for Memorial Day weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.